


could have been

by tjskipping



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash, im sorry skjfkg, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 12:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18261680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjskipping/pseuds/tjskipping
Summary: tj isn't an idiot. he knows cyrus likes him. or at least has some form of more-than-platonic feelings for him.





	could have been

**Author's Note:**

> it's sad boi hours y'all. shout out to amamda for being both Supportive Grandma and Supportive Beta, ily!!! my tumblr is @tjskipping <3

tj isn't an idiot. he knows cyrus likes him. or at least has some form of more-than-platonic feelings for him. 

 

he sees the subtle (but not subtle enough) glances, inconspicuous except for the way cyrus seems to be slightly in awe. he'd assumed for a while that it was normal, that was how he was with everyone. but when he sees cyrus talk to buffy, then andi, then jonah, no sight of the Look, he begins to realize what it means.  _ oh _ .

 

he sees the way cyrus seems to shift as he enters, as if slightly more aware of everything. aware of tj. 

 

he sees cyrus lean slightly into him, as if he doesn't realize what he's doing. as if wanting to be near tj is just instinct. 

 

he sees the look buffy and andi exchange behind them, smug and fond and knowing. tj wants to yell a little,  _ what do you know? tell me.  _

 

he sees cyrus grin; the way his eyes scrunch up, soft and sweet and  _ i trust you _ .  _ i like you _ . he sees  _ cyrus _ . he notices him. and then doesn't stop noticing. 

 

_ “you can be oblivious” _

 

he's not. he's not. he's  _ notnotnot _ . 

 

he sees everything. he recognizes it. because that's him. 

 

the way tj is always aware of cyrus, aware of every near-hug, every brush of their hands, aware of cyrus. 

 

the way tj can feel himself light up when he sees cyrus. a smile spreading on his face just at the thought of him. warmth spreading through him, even hours later. 

 

the way he finds himself searching out cyrus’ gaze in a room, looking to share a smile, even if they can't talk. 

 

the way he finds himself wanting to just  _ be  _ with cyrus. just being. no pretenses, no games, no hesitations. just them, together. 

 

he recognizes it because it's the same subtle signs he had to identify in himself first. that shift from  _ oh, i like boys  _ to  _ oh, i like my best friend  _ to  _ oh, i like  _ cyrus _.  _

 

it's not a dawning realization. it's like a smack in the face. a pretty pleasant smack, but still sudden and shocking and leaving him a little breathless. 

 

he wonders at first, if he should confess now. isn't this what happens? when two people like each other? confessions and kisses and  _ love you _ s, murmured or yelled or blurted out. isn't this supposed to work out now? 

 

love—or like—tj is learning, isn't really like what he sees around him. isn't like what's on tv, or what he can hear the other children gossip about around him. 

 

it's—different. how can it not be, when it's cyrus. 

 

he thinks about confessing. he thinks about all the kisses and the hand holding and the  _ i like you _ s they could have. a logical i-like-you-you-like-me-can-we-date scenario. 

 

he remembers listening about jonah and andi, and buffy and marty from cyrus. feels a little better that he's not the only one with complicated feelings. 

 

it's not like he wouldn't want to do any of that. the thought of letting cyrus know makes him giddy. 

 

_ but.  _

 

he's scared. it's dumb but he's scared. 

 

he thinks of possible broken friendships. of arguments and miscommunications and possibly hurting cyrus. he doesn't want that. he doesn't want them to be ruined. 

 

what ifs eat at him for the entire minute he considers confessing. he gives in. not yet. 

 

looking back at cyrus, helpless as he's being led away by kira against his will, he thinks a little bitterly about how it doesn't matter anyway. not after this. 

  
  



End file.
